think about it

Thinking about change is weird. Think about it.
Change can happen very slow. Every single day you look at yourself in the mirror, and every single day you don't notice much of a difference. If you look at yourself over a year though, so much has changed. You don't notice it while it's happening, but it's happening alright. Change can also happen very fast. So much can change within a day, within an hour, within a minute, and even within a second. One second can spark up a whole new view on life, one second can change your relationship status, one second can change so much.

mature

“Immature people falling in love destroy each other’s freedom, create a bondage, make a prison. Mature persons in love help each other to be free; they help each other to destroy all sorts of bondages. And when love flows with freedom there is beauty. When love flows with dependence there is ugliness.

A mature person does not fall in love, he or she rises in love. Only immature people fall; they stumble and fall down in love. Somehow they were managing and standing. Now they cannot manage and they cannot stand. They were always ready to fall on the ground and to creep. They don’t have the backbone, the spine; they don’t have the integrity to stand alone.

A mature person has the integrity to stand alone. And when a mature person gives love, he or she gives without any strings attached to it. When two mature persons are in love, one of the great paradoxes of life happens, one of the most beautiful phenomena: they are together and yet tremendously alone. They are together so much that they are almost one. Two mature persons in love help each other to become more free. There is no politics involved, no diplomacy, no effort to dominate. Only freedom and love.”

thoughts

Sometimes i look back and i am shocked. Every day of my life i have prepared for success, worked for it, waited for it, and you don't notice how the days pass until nearly a lifetime has finished. Then it hits you - the thing you have been waiting for has already gone by. And it was going in the other direction. It's like I've been waiting on the wrong side of the road for a bus that was already full.

nothing special.

I really can't picture anyone having a crush on me.

I can't picture someone thinking about me before they fall asleep,

I can't picture anyone getting butterflies because i say hi to them,

or even just smiled at them.

I can't picture someone smiling at the computer screen or their cell phones when we're talking.

I mean like... why would they ever do that?

i'm just me. Nothing extraordinary, or special.