i need a fresh start!

2011 has been a funny old year.I've had regrets & sadness, with a little bit of happiness thrown in roll on 2012, I need a fresh start!

Need money so badly, work almost everyday making myself weak and sick. I just quit my job, too tough and tiring. Probably getting a new part time job, nobody will understand, i don't think even my boyfriend will too. All he might think is i got a new bf or i forgotten about him and no matter what i say he doesn't trust me. I can sense that our relationship is further apart and he's probably dating someone who loves him more than i do.

Comparing is a very strong word for me. i don't know why, i just think it that way. Girls that are prettier than me, smarter than me, richer than me. See what i mean, i really think i don't deserve to be with him.

He wants to have a privacy life, i really don't know why. i cant even post a photo of him, through my facebook or blog. He doesn't want his colleagues and friends to know about our relationship. is he hiding something behind my back, i don't know. or maybe i thinking too much. No maybe my friends is right, pictures prove everything. And if you want me to show you the prove, then i show you. i don't know whether i should be angry at this photo, or just cry out loud. But i admit the girls are prettier than me, who look smarter than me and maybe richer than me. Like i say comparing is a very strong word for me. If you sense i'm jealous, Well Yes im jealous, i get jealous easier. Happy?!He still the same, i wanted to have some activities together like all other couples do. Our is like everyday is either movies, dinner, or staying home. nothing else. no fun at all.

I had decided already, if it doesn't work out. i would just let go and focusing my study.